Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
