just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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