VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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