You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize