You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
