Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
