i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
