This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
