Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
