nut hugger
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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