you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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