dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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