Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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