I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
