? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Who died my cat blue again?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
