Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
