I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
