Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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