how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
