Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize