So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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