I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
