i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
