clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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