Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
