Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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