You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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