There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
