I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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