come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
