My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
