I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
