so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
