I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
