you win again, gameday.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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