We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
