y did u give ur computer a hand job?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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