After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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