What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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