I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize