I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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