Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
