just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
