i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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