I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
