I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
