Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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