I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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