okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
