At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
