why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
