I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
