I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
