Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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