Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
