We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
