In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize