she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
