I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
