i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Boobs are out for the taking
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
