you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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