Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
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He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
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Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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