They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
is wine microwaveable?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
