If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize