Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
