is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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